So, who am I? Well, being that this is the very first entry on www.whatgregeats.com, that's a pretty reasonable question. Of course, I'm not going to give you a reasonable answer.

Rather than some bio piece, which I'm sure I'll get around to posting eventually...I'm going to share something very important with you.

My take on the perfect PB&J.

First, the cop out. Each person has their own version of the perfect PB&J, so it's relative. What is true for so many people and is true for me, is that this isn't a sandwich. This is a time machine, and for me, the dial is set to 1979.

Now that we're past the cop out and I've acknowledged that each person has their own version of the perfect PB&J, let me add that, my PB&J is better than your PB&J. (Disagree? Try yours, try mine, post a comment, let's see some empirical evidence here people).

The Bread!

Big, thick (as in dense), fluffy white bread. Pillowy soft. I don't want big, porous holes that my jam or jelly might seep through. I want THICK (but soft)! Sure, I love artisan breads, whole grain breads and the like. Some of the best sandwiches I've ever had have been on specialty breads. But just step off my PB&J with your whole grain bread. If you're so lucky as to live in or near Texas...Mrs. Baird's Large White Bread is your best bet.

The Peanut Butter!

First things first, creamy. Period, dot. Chunky peanut butter does NOT belong on my PB&J. As to brand though, let's not get too uppity here. JIF, Skippy or the like will do. Any national brand (not store brand) of creamy peanut butter and you're good.

The Jelly!

Now here's where we run into our first serious point of contention (those crazy people who like chunky peanut butter don't count). Strawberry? Grape? Jelly? Jam? Preserves? Whew...tough

First, preserves? NO! Why? Cause they are thick, sticky chunks of fruit, they don't spread. You do more damage to your bread than it's worth trying to get these to spread out, and when one starts to ooze...you're likely to lose the whole slimy preserve. Just no.

Jelly vs. Jam? Jam is preserves by another name (not usually as thick, but still not right for us), move along to the Jelly section. (Besides, PB&J stands for Peanut Butter and JELLY...duh.)

Strawberry? You know, I used to be a strawberry guy, but honestly, just not the right flavor for PB&J. Great on toast, but that's another Blog.

Grape? Now that's the winner for most people. It's the classic, the traditional, old stand-by. You know what though? It's not my pick.

Blackberry Jelly...never had it? In all ways, it's good, but on a PB&J, well...it's the best. The unique tart, sweet flavor of blackberries in an easily spread form (not watery, but not "unspreadably" thick). Make sure you're getting Jelly though, not Jam or Preserves.

The Construction!

First get out your two or four slices of bread. (Yes, you could do a one slice fold over, but you can cover that on your own). You will need a plate (preferably a real plate, not paper) and a butter knife.

Now, assuming your bread just came out of the bag and one slice is stacked on the other. Take the top slice, and set it aside while FLIPPING IT OVER. That's important. Bread comes in unique shapes sometimes with one top corner being different from the other. If you flip your bread over the two top corners will match up when you put them together, you won't have that big corner of peanut butter trying to match up with that little corner of jelly, missing and making you all sticky.

Next, starting with the Jelly. Tilt it on it's side, use the knife to drag jelly out onto the center of your bread. If you were paying attention above, you have jelly and not jam and it's coming out just fine. Spread the jelly, then wipe the knife off thoroughly on the side of the bread (your thick, soft yet dense bread will stand up to this). Don't lick the knife clean! ...yet.

Now, peanut butter. Use stupid, huge amounts of peanut butter. Forget the thin layer crap. I'm talking almost two tablespoons of peanut butter here. Basically get as big of a glob on the side of the knife as you reasonably can, then ... you don't so much spread it, as you just flatten it out some until it covers the bread up to the edge.

Now lick the knife clean (don't cut your tongue, butter knife's serrated edges aren't made for licking).

Assemble by bringing both sides together, one in each hand, then with the peanut butter side more on top, push it over onto the jelly side, then flip the sandwich so it's jelly side up. (Yes, it matters....jelly side up!)

Finishing Touches!

A medium size glass, 3/4s full of Ice Cold Milk. A paper towel.

Eating!

My only tip here is that you've kept the jelly side up so that's the side that will hit the roof of your mouth, keeping all of your peanut butter from just hitting there and sticking.

Another important factor is that you shall not, may not and should not...touch the milk yet.

You must eat until you are parched from the peanut butter, savoring each moist bit of jelly that provides a seconds relief from the peanut butter.

Then, when you can take no more...wash it down with a long, slow, big drink of the milk. Millions of kids love milk JUST because of this, I swear it.

Final Notes!

To cut or not to cut? Sure, a sandwich cut diagonally IS more reminiscent of childhood. But, I don't know about you...but when I cut a sandwich into triangles, it seems like it's gone faster. And I want this to last. As to cutting it in half? Nah.

Taking off the crust? Lemme think...no! The crust has that bit of raised edge, which is matching up nicely because we flipped our second piece of bread. You know what that edge is? It's a jelly dam, keeping your blackberry on your bread, not your shirt. Sure enough, just as soon as you've cut off the crust, you're wearing your food.

Inevitably though, some of the jelly will escape. That's why we have a real plate. Look left, look right, use your finger to get that escapee jelly off the plate (just not the same with a paper plate, and forget paper towels), then lick your fingers clean.

Conclusion!

So, you may not know anything else about me, from my posts here, you will learn more about me of course. For now though, you know that I take my PB&J very seriously.

PB&J is among the simplest of foods, imagine what I think about complex foods...or, stick around, read more and find out what I think about them.

This is what greg eats...